I feel my Savior's love, the love He freely gives me.

I feel His love when He gives me commandments that help me become more like Him.
I feel His love when He forgives my faults, mistakes, and blunders, and accepts my efforts.
I feel His love when I am around the beautiful friends He has blessed me with.
I feel His love when He showers the valley with sweet, sweet rain.
I feel His love when I spend time enjoying the marvels of the awe-inspiring Earth He made us.
I feel His love when I hear His servants give us counsel every 6 months at General Conference.
I feel His love when I study the words of past prophets in the scriptures.
I feel His love when I pray for help to be the girl he designed me to be, because I definitely can't be her without his help.

Yes I know Heavenly Father loves me.

Wowee wow wow.

I feel a little bit silly for it, but I am weeping tears down my cheeks! Good gracious.

Tonight was my last night in young womens. For a lot of girls, this is quite uneventful, or even a relief. It means they don't have to go to hour and a half long activities on Tuesday nights anymore. It means they can go to the singles ward. It does not mean that for me. There is no way I'm going to singles ward, and I may just instinctively accidentally drive myself over to mutual on Tuesday nights. I don't know if there was a point of maturity I was supposed to hit where I was supposed to be ready to get out of young womens, but I never hit it. Those people are my family, and I just feel like I'm going to be missing out on everything.

I feel like a broken record for saying it so much, but San Tan Valley has some incredibly strong, positive, loving, compassionate members of the church. And some rock star young women. They are top-notch.

I have honestly never felt so loved by such a group of people. The camaradere (I don't know how to spell that...) is awesome in our group of young women. These girls will reach out to anyone, no matter how quiet, shy, annoying, or just plain strange they are. They have the amazing maturity at a young age to see each other as their Heavenly Father sees them. They put their arms around each other. It is really actually touching to see. (Gosh dang it I'm crying again...)

And our leaders... Oh, the incredible women who lead us and taught us and took care of us!! Sis. Atkin taught me to take a good hard look at people and think about how much their Father in Heaven loves them. I will seriously NEVER forget that. And Sis. Crandell inspired me to want to go on a mission. Some of these women have influenced me SO SO much more than they even know!

And then they HAD to go and give me a cute present to purposely make me cry in front of everyone tonight! What the heck??

Haha. Just kidding. I loved it. They are sweet as candy (no pun intended. really.)

I'm just saying,

NOT bragging or ANYTHING.

But my young women experience was way more amazing than yours.

It has shaped me, and I will really, really, really miss it.

I'm going to go get another tissue.

OHMYGOSHGUYS THIS BLOG.

So, yesterday my mom told me to check out a blog called The Red Headed Hostess. So this morning, after I finished up my talk that I'm giving in sacrament meeting today, I took a look.

Oh.

My.

GOSH.

Guys.

This blog is now my favorite blog ever.

It is written by a woman named Shannon who taught seminary for 13 years. She is a scripture MASTER. She keeps the most incredible scriptures journals, one organized by topic, and one that's chapter by chapter. They are full of personal insights, references to hymns and general authorities, cross references, visual aids, things that bring the scriptures to life. 

Look at the detail! And some of her visual aids are printable, so you can stick them in your scripture journal, too! It's just wonderful. She inspired me, so today I put together my own scripture journal and I am hoping to make a journal rich in insight like The Red Headed Hostess's is.

Ooh wow wow!! I am so impressed by her.

Modest is Hottest

There is a phrase commonly used in LDS culture (and by culture, I mean that the people of our church say it; I've never heard it said in actual doctrine) that I have been thinking about quite a bit today and yesterday.

I am not sure how I feel about this phrase. I started thinking about what kind of connotations "hot" or "hottest" brings, and with that, I browsed all over the modest fashion blogging world, looking for women who were dressed modestly yet fashionably.

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but when I see these women and the way they dress, groom, and carry themselves, I don't really think "hot" or "hottest".

I think "beautiful", "radiant", "daughters of God", "confident"."classy", and just good-old "fashionable".

They look like they have a brain inside their heads. They know who they are! They know their own worth! They don't care what the world's standard is. They are "doing a great work" and they "cannot come down" (Nehemiah 6:3).

That's what modesty is about. It is about portraying ourselves in a way that God has asked us to, so that we can be examples of the believers (1 Timothy 4:12).

Now, I don't completely hate the phrase "modest is hottest". It's catchy, and it's getting girls to realize that it is way better to respect yourself and your body by dressing more. But "hot" is something that is centered on the world, and trying to conform to the world's idea of attractiveness and sexual appeal. Modesty is deeper, because it's centered on our Heavenly Father, and obeying Him, and glorifying Him, and being beautiful to Him, and not giving thought to what the world thinks.

Personally, I would like a phrase like "MODEST IS BEAUTIFUL!" or "MODEST IS CLASSY!" or something along those lines. I know "MODEST IS HOTTEST" is catchy, and I'm not going to slam it down when people around me say it, because it is  having a positive impact on many women and girls, but I just don't fully agree with it exactly.

What do you think? I would find it just peachy if you had an opinion that you would like to share, and you either reblogged a post on the topic, or commented on this post. Thanks! :)

life is a big fat road trip.

so, i finished my personal progress yesterday.

*commence happy dance*
did you know i have the coolest happy dance ever?
you may or may not have known that.
well, people compliment me on it, like, always. seriously.
SOOOANYWAYSSSSS.
yeah. i just have to get my bishops interview tomorrow, and then i have young women in excellence on tuesday, so hopefully i'll get that lovely little medallion that night,so yeah. i'll pretty much be a babe.
a humble babe.

oh yeah, i almost forgot. i have a story.
it's kind of an old story. but whatevs.
so on tuesday, i was innocently sitting in the computer lab for 3rd hour english 101.
i was working intently on a film review for the movie minority report, when i heard someone pull into the chair next to me and SIGH. i didn't really notice this kid, because hello, i was kinda in the zone, people. but soon, he started asking me questions about the essay, what the teacher was looking for, things like that. then he rolled his little rollie chair to the other side of the room. okayyy.
soon, however, this kid was back. he asked me my name, and i told him. he told me he noticed i had a flower in my hair. good observation. and then he rolled away again. i was beginning to be weirded out.
i returned to my work. he rolled over again, and just kind of sat there. not even working on his essay. then my wonderful princess-friend victoria walked in (she was delivering something for another teacher or something) and she talked to me for a few minutes, alleviating the situation of the random awkward kid next to me. but as soon as she left, he turned to me again..
"so can i take you to homecoming?"

the thoughts running through my head: "whyyyyyyy is this happening to meeeeeee...." "i don't even really want friends in this class. i'm anti-social, and i want to work on my ESSAYS." and "i. don't. even. know. this. kid's. name."

i turned to him and tried to smile. "you know, i don't really know you. i don't feel comfortable going to homecoming with someone i've barely met."
he replied in the middle of my sentence, "oh, that's fine, that's fine, that's totally cool.... so you wanna have lunch together?"
I tried to answer, "I uhh--"
"Yeah, come on, yeahh?"
"Uh--"
"Okay. I deserve a hug. Gimme a hug."
sooooo i awkwardly (i didn't mean for it to be awkward, i was trying to be as friendly and nice and non-heartbreakerish as i could, but i was CERTAINLY not happy) put my arm around his back and immediately returned to my essay. then sporatically throughout the remainder of the period:
"hey so what do you like to do in your freetime?"
"you're really really pretty. maybe we should hang out."
"what's your favorite kind of music" (and when i told him i liked country best), "oh, COUNTRY? lame. i'm going to get you into rap."
yeah. this is NNNOOOTTT gonna fly.
i DEFINITELY did not get as much of that essay done as i would have liked to.
as class ended, the following conversation happened:
emily: "um, i need to go to my mom's classroom to get something from her."
kid: "oh, okay, can i come with you?"
emily: "i think i'll be fine on my own, thanks."
emily walks away faster than she ever has before.

so then i ran to my mom's classroom and whined the whole story to her.
"and now he's waiting for me out there! i wanna hide!"
"emily, it's just a boy. you are such a freak."
"yes, well. alright."
something like that.

so i went to lunch. ate at my regular lunch table. stood the kid up. and oh, yeah. my mom is friends with my 3rd hour teacher so i made her figure out for me what this kid's name was.

the next day, i went to the computer lab and sat by a girl who seemed nice and normal to me. i was left in peace the whole class period to make up for my lack of productivity the day before thank you very much. but at the end of class, he approached me.
"so was that a yes or a no?"
"yeah, uh, i'm sorry. i'm just really not interested right now. i'm not dating anyone, and i don't plan on it this year. that's all."
"yeah, me neither. totally too busy for that."
..okay. so i offered friendship:
"you can, uh, eat at my table with my friends if you'd like. that'd be cool."
"well, no, i don't know your friends. that would be awkward!"
i wanted to slap the kid. THAT would be awkward? how about the last 24 hours of my life?
so the next day he asked for my number, and since a few people had told me to not be a jerk, i gave it to him. i told him i only wanted to text on it, and he said he didn't have texting. which i think was a blessing. i have gotten a couple of voicemail messages, and if he asks, hey, i told him texting only.

i wish i went to an all-girls school, for aspiring mormon nuns.

hymns

"the lord is my light, then why should i fear?"

"death shall not conquer the hero again."

"i do not ask to see the distance scene--one step enough for me."

"he lives, all glory to his name."

"my god, how great thou art!'"

"oh savior, stay this night with me."

"and we hear the desert singing: carry on, carry on, carry on!"

"we heed the words our prophet declared: let each who's worthy go forth and share."

"fear not, and be just, for the kingdom is ours. the hour of redemption is near."

"i'll be what you want me to be."

"there is no end to truth."

why are hymns so wonderful?

i don't have much to say, but hey, here's a really interesting, guilt-inducing quote.

"To a significant degree, we are an overfed and undernourished nation digging an early grave with our teeth, and lacking the energy that could be ours because we overindulge in junk foods. We need a generation of young people who, as Daniel, eat in a more healthy manner than to fare on the "king's meat" --and whose countenances show it."
~Ezra Taft Benson, BYU Devotional 1979

Yikes!

creation.

Look at this. Look at it long and hard. I know it's hard to do with my not-so-great camera quality, but try to look at the detail of the stems, and the petals, and the colors. Look at each and every flower {and dandelion}. Think about it for a minute.
Better yet, go stand outside. Look at the sky. If it's dark, look at the stars. Look at the clouds, and the rocks, and the grass, the birds, the crickets, and your own two feet.

And tell me, how could that have been created, molded, colored, engineered by chance? Or worse, science?

I guess I just don't understand that kind of thinking.

And you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend.

"Oh thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted! Behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires. And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children. In righteousness shalt thou be established; thou shalt be far from oppression for thou shalt not fear, and from terror for it shall not come near thee. Behold, they shall surely gather together against thee, not by me; whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake. Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy. No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall revile against thee in judgement thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord."

3 Nephi 22:11-17 <3

{Outside Looking In by Jordan Pruitt}

holiness to the lord, the house of the lord.

This post is inspired by the lovely Jadyn Maree.

Who, PS, happens to be my bestie. And we are having one heck of a senior year.

We are super close and stuff, like, so close, that we like to snack on each others heads. obvi.

So anyway, Jadyn Maree posted about the beautiful temples of the world. When I read this, I thought, gosh, this should be a bloggy chain challenge thingy. Everyone will be showering the internets with a plethora of beautiful temples! So, I'm copying Jadyn's post. To see it, click the link I put up there.

"At the temple the dust of distraction seems to settle out, the fog and the haze seem to lift, and we can 'see' things that we were not able to see before and find a way through our troubles that we had not previously known." -Boyd K. Packer

I challenge YOU to clutter the internet with these beauties! Post your favorite temples! {now that I think about it, these aren't my favorites, besides gila valley. these are just randoms. you can post randoms, too..}

Ready, set, go!

words.

Whoever said words were powerless was a complete moron.

Words are incredible. Words shape this world. I love words.

I want to be a writer, so that I can use all the words my little heart desires.

I love to read words. I live for that feeling you get when you read something that hits you so hard, it's breathtaking. Sometimes it almost feels like everything else, even time itself, has stopped, when you read those words. Once in a while I come across words like that, and it would be selfish of me to not share them. I can't stop thinking about these words I read in seminary, in Psalm 27:3-6:

"Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. For in time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me: he shall set me up upon a rock. And now mine head shall be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord."

What words have taken your breath away lately?

But these handprints on the front steps are mine.

Once upon a time, there lived a happy little lump of clay.

{hear me out here...}

The little lump of clay lived in the corner of a sculptor's workshop. There he stayed nice and warm, and there were many other little lumps of clay to keep him company.

However, one day, the sculptor picked up the lump of clay and flopped him onto a cold table. The sculptor began poking and pushing and squeezing and pinching at the lump of clay. "Master, stop that! It hurts!" the little lump of clay cried. But the sculptor smiled at him and whispered, "Not yet."

Then the sculptor carried him to a small round tray. The tray started spinning, faster and faster. The little lump of clay was afraid and confused. "Why are you doing that?" he yelled at the sculptor, "I don't like this! Master, please stop!" The sculptor chuckled and gently said,"Not yet."

Soon, the tray stopped spinning, and the sculptor set the lump of clay in a hot oven. He's going to burn me to death, the lump of clay thought. "This is madness! Why would you do this to me? I have never done anything to deserve this! Master, it's unbearable in here! Get me out, now!" Again, the sculptor whispered, "Not yet."

After what seemed like forever, the sculptor gently took the lump of clay out of the oven and set him back on the table. Before the little lump of clay knew it, he was being slathered in different paints, some white, some pink, some gold, and all very smelly. The fumes made him sputter and gag. And the brushes tickled incessantly."Master, that is awful stuff! Please, stop it." As the sculptor smoothed the paint on with a small brush, he smiled again and said, "Not yet."

The lump of clay was completely covered in wet, sticky paint, and just when he thought he could bear no more, the sculptor again set him in the scalding hot oven. "Master! Master! Not again! Please, Master! I can't take it! Let me out!" The sculptor turned to the lump of clay, tears now streaming down his face. "Not yet."

After many agonizing hours, the sculptor reached in and picked up the tired, worn out lump of clay. The lump of clay breathed a breath of fresh, cool air. "Master? What is happening now?" he whispered. The sculptor set him high on a clean, white shelf. "There," he said, "I have created just what I intended. Just look at yourself!" The sculptor held up a hand mirror for the lump of clay to look at his reflection. But what he saw in the mirror was no lump of clay. "That, that can't be me!" There stood a gleaming, shining, beautiful teacup. "But, Master, I'm just a lump of clay!"

"But that is you, little teacup. That is what I have made of you. If I had not worked you, you would have become dry like a rock. If I had not spun you on the wheel, you would have crumbled. If I had not subjected you to heat, you would have cracked. If I had not painted you, you would have been gray an bland. The second trip to the oven gave you strength to endure. Now, you are everything I ever dreamed you would be."

The teacup sat in silence, and a tear fell down his cheek. "Master, forgive me. All this time, I did not trust you. I thought you were hurting me. I had no idea that this is what I could become. I was blinded. Thank you, Master. Thank you."

{This House that Built Me by Miranda Lambert}

All I want is to rock your soul.

I love this church. I love everything about this peaceful, wonderful, involved, perfect church.

{Rock Your Soul by Elisa}

I'm gonna learn to ballet dance.

Happy Sunday!

Enjoy, I know I did.

P.S. You might need to watch it outside of my blog, since sometimes part of the picture gets cut off.

Toodaloo.

{Whole Wide World by Mindy Gledhill}

Whenever one door closes, I hope one door opens.

So, this is pretty much my new journal. Just in case you were wondering why the heck I kept up with this guy every day for like the past week and a half or something. It's

a goal of mine, to journal every day. Blog counts, right? Right.

Well anyway, I have been feeling really really happy lately. Life hasn't gotten any easier, in fact, sometimes things feel heavier, but I feel much happier than I usually do.

I think in a way, my trials have made me stronger, thus making me feel on top of the world. Also, finding that faith in Heavenly Father's plan does pay off after all feels pretty dang stupendous.

I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father for leading me through these days, whether they be happy, rejoiceful, fun, mediocre, sad, lonely, hectic, frustrating, or just plain old bad.

One of my favorite quotes of all time has helped me to rely on his leading:

"When you get to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly."

~Edward Teller

I feel lucky enough to say that God is giving me solid things.

He has given me:

An end goal, an "X marks the spot".

The perfect example, His son.

A road map {and a good one, at that!}

And lots of supporters.

a wonderful bishop,

loving leaders, and

Loyal friends.

It'll be good times when I grow all up and He teaches me to fly.

{I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack}